15 Most Personal Songs (a musical apologetic) -- #9 Bob Dylan, "What Good Am I"

As a child of the 70s and 80s, I didn't have the luxury of computer games and social media to shape my thoughts. Instead, a lot of it came from the music I listened to. 

These are the top fifteen songs that helped to make me who I am and help keep me on track as a genuine person in this human experience. #STformativesongs

#10 - "What Good Am I" by Bob Dylan

This is the first of two Dylan songs on this list. This one is the one that taught me to be sure that the ideals inside me match the actions on the outside. It's sort of like the idea of being a sounding gong and clanging cymbal if I'm empty of love. No matter what I say I am and believe, it doesn't mean squat until my outside actions reinforce it. 

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What good am I some like all the rest

If I just turn away when I see how you're dressed

If I shut myself off so I can't hear you cry

What good am I?

What good am I if I know and don't do

If I see and don't say if I look right through you

If I turn a deaf ear to the thunderin' sky

What good am I?

What good am I while you softly weep

And I hear in my head what you say in your sleep

And I freeze in the moment like the rest who don't try

What good am I?

What good am I then to others and me

If I had every chance and yet still fail to see

If my hands are tied must I not wonder within

Who tied them and why and where must I have been

What good am I if I say foolish things

And I laugh in the face of what sorrow brings

And I just turn my back while you silently die

What good am I? 

15 Most Personal Songs (a musical apologetic) -- #10 Steve Taylor, "The Finish Line"

As a child of the 70s and 80s, I didn't have the luxury of computer games and social media to shape my thoughts. Instead, a lot of it came from the music I listened to. 

These are the top fifteen songs that helped to make me who I am and help keep me on track as a genuine person in this human experience. #STformativesongs

#10 - The Finish Line by Steve Taylor

Yes, this is another from CCM, but the reason it's so important to me is that it feels a lot more Flannery O'Conner than Billy Graham. This song knocks all the prestige and pride out of being a person of faith and shows life as tough and hard and kicking you when you're down just like it is for everyone, person of faith or not. And it says that ultimately it's all worth it. (Religiously, not because of anything I did, but because of something and someone imputed.) 

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Once upon an average morn

An average boy was born for the second time

Prone upon the altar there

He whispered up the prayer he'd kept hid inside

The vision came

He saw the odds

A hundred little gods on a gilded wheel

"These will vie to take your place, but Father,

by your grace I wil never kneel"

And I saw you, upright and proud

And I saw you wave to the crowd

And I saw you laughing out loud at the Philistines

And I saw you brush away rocks

And I saw you pull up your socks

And I saw you out of the blocks

For the finish line

Darkness falls

The devil stirs

And as your vision blurs you start stumbling

The heart is weak

The will is gone

And every strong conviction comes tumbling down

Malice rains

The acid guile is sucking at your shoes while the mud is fresh

It floods the trail

It bleeds you dry

As every little god buys its pound of flesh

And I saw you licking your wounds

And I saw you weave your cocoons

And I saw you changing your tunes for the party line

And I saw you welsh on old debts

I saw you and your comrades bum cigarettes

And you hemmed and you hawed

And you hedged all your bets

Waiting for a sign

Let's wash our hands as we throw little fits

Let's all wash our hands as we curse hypocrites

We're locked in the washroom turning old tricks

Deaf

And joyless

And full of it

The vision came

He saw the odds

A hundred little gods on a gilded wheel

"These have tried to take your place, but Father,

by your grace I will never kneel

I will never kneel..."

Off in the distance

Bloodied but wise

As you squint with the light of the truth in your eyes

And I saw you

Both hands were raised

And I saw your lips move in praise

And I saw you steady your gaze

For the finish line

Every idol like dust

A word scattered them all

And I rose to my feet when you scaled the last wall

And I gasped

When I saw you fall

In his arms

At the finish line

15 Most Personal Songs (a musical apologetic) -- #11 Carolyn Arends, "Reaching"

As a child of the 70s and 80s, I didn't have the luxury of computer games and social media to shape my thoughts. Instead, a lot of it came from the music I listened to. 

These are the top fifteen songs that helped to make me who I am and help keep me on track as a genuine person in this human experience. #STformativesongs

#11 - Reaching by Carylon Arends

This one and an upcoming one are probably the most religious songs on this list, and primarily because they stirred in me spiritual seeking rather than actual any kind of doctrinal leanings. They taught me to seek truth, not systems or organizations. This one in particular always reinforced for me that there really is a truth with a capital T. We are just in the wrong place to explain it or put it in a box now. It's like the color blue to me. Whatever you choose to call it, or however you define it, there is an intrinsic "something" that we relate to as blue. This song reminds me that it's not just blue that fits that understanding for me. 

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There's a time I can recall

Four years old and three feet tall

Trying to touch the stars and the cookie jar

And both were out of reach

And later on in my high school

It seemed to me a little cruel

How the right words to say always seemed to stay

Just out of reach

Well, I should not have thought it strange

That growing causes growing pains

'Cause the more we learn the more we know

We don't know anything

But still it seems a tragic fate

Living with this quiet ache

The constant strain for what remains

Just out of reach

We are reaching for the future

We are reaching for the past

And no matter what we have we reach for more

We are desperate to discover

What is just beyond our grasp

But maybe that's what Heaven is for

There are times I can't forget

Dressed up in my Sunday best

Trying not to squirm and to maybe learn

A bit of what the preacher preached

And later lying in the dark

I felt a stirring in my heart

And though I longed to see what could not be seen

I still believed

I guess, I shouldn't think it odd

Until we see the face of God

The yearning deep within us tells us

There's more to come

So when we taste of the divine

It leaves us hungry every time

For one more taste of what awaits

When Heaven's Gates are reached

We are reaching for the future

We are reaching for the past

And no matter what we have, we reach for more

We are desperate to discover

What is just beyond our grasp

But maybe that's what Heaven is for

I believe that's what Heaven is for

There's a time I can recall

Four years old and three feet tall

Trying to touch the stars and the cookie jar

And both were out of reach

15 Most Personal Songs (a musical apologetic) -- #12 Ideola, "Go Ask the Dead Man"

As a child of the 70s and 80s, I didn't have the luxury of computer games and social media to shape my thoughts. Instead, a lot of it came from the music I listened to. 

These are the top fifteen songs that helped to make me who I am and help keep me on track as a genuine person in this human experience. #STformativesongs

#12 - Go Ask the Dead Man - Ideola

Mark Heard did a little experiment that became one of my favorite albums of all time. Yes, all time. Ideola was a sort of pre-techno, alternative-adjacent slice of weirdness that had more to say about life than anything else that came out musically at the time. But the song that really stuck with me from it was this one -- "Go Ask the Dead Man." How valuable are even the things we don't like and don't wish to have to go through? How important are the people in our lives? How valuable are the things we take for granted? Well, to the man who can no longer experience them, I bet they're pretty much priceless. This song reminds me to live in a way that sees that priceless quality of ordinary things each day. 

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What's the worth of one warm smile?

Go and ask the dead man

How bright the light in loved ones’ eyes?

Go ask the dead man

Where's the charm in cloudy skies?

Go and ask the dead man

Oh go ask the dead man

Who has eyes for an evening sun?

Go and ask the dead man

The smell of earth, the sound of storms?

Go ask the dead man

How intense is the lightest touch?

Go and ask the dead man

Oh go ask the dead man

They say dead men tell no tales

But if you want to hear your own heart beating

Listen well, listen well

Go ask the dead man

Go ask the dead man

15 Most Personal Songs (a musical apologetic) -- #13 Tonio K, "You Will Go Free"

As a child of the 70s and 80s, I didn't have the luxury of computer games and social media to shape my thoughts. Instead, a lot of it came from the music I listened to. 

These are the top fifteen songs that helped to make me who I am and help keep me on track as a genuine person in this human experience. #STformativesongs

#13 - You Will Go Free by Tonio K

I discovered Tonio K back when I was working as a teenager, and a little bit of each paycheck each week went into a new cassette. Yes, cassettes. That was the player I had in my car. Anyway... Tonio K. was one of those troubadours who could turn religious concepts into stuff that almost anyone would want to hear without reigning down judgment or trying to create a false dichotomy between religious people and non-religious people, less religious and more spiritual (as the saying goes). As such, this song hit me hard and helped me understand that we are all in the same need because we are all inhabiting the same world.

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You've been a prisoner

Been a prisoner all your life

Held captive in an alien world

Where they hold your need for love to your throat like a knife

And they make you jump

And they make you do tricks

They take what started off as such an innocent heart

And they break it and break it and break it

Until it almost can't be found

Well i don't know when

And it don't know how

I don't know how long it's gonna take

I don't know how hard it will be

But i know

You will go free

You can call it the devil

Call it the big lie

Call it a fallen world

What ever it is it ruins almost everything we try

It's the sins of the fathers

It's the choices we make

It's people screaming without making a sound

From prison cells in paradise

Where we're chained to our mistakes

Well i don't know when

And it don't know how

I don't know how much it's gonna cost you

Probably everything

But i know

You will go free

You can't see your jailer

You can't see the bars

You can't turn your head round fast enough

But it's everywhere you are

It's all around you

And everywhere you walk this prison yard surrounds you

But in the midst of all this darkness

In the middle of this night

I see truth cut through this curtain like a laser

Like a pure and holy light

And i know i can't touch you now

And i don't want to speak too soon

But when we get sprung

From out of our cages baby

God knows what we might do

Well i don't know when

And it don't know how

I don't know if you'll be leaving alone

Or if you'll be leaving with me

But i know

You will go free

15 Most Personal Songs (a musical apologetic) -- #14 Billy Joel, "Piano Man"

As a child of the 70s and 80s, I didn't have the luxury of computer games and social media to shape my thoughts. Instead, a lot of it came from the music I listened to. 

These are the top fifteen songs that helped to make me who I am and help keep me on track as a genuine person in this human experience. #STformativesongs

#14 - Piano Man by Billy Joel

This was one of the first songs to really play out the truth of how unhappy people are and just how far kindness can go when you encounter them. Other songs (like "Lonely People" by America) had touched on it, but this one really drove home the point with stories from people who actually felt real. It's like a Raymond Carver collection set to music.  

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It's nine o'clock on a Saturday

Regular crowd shuffles in

There's an old man sittin' next to me

Makin' love to his tonic and gin

He says: "Son can you play me a memory?"

I'm not really sure how it goes

But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete

When I wore a younger man's clothes

La-la-la de-de da

La-la de-de da da-da

Sing us a song you're the piano man

Sing us a song tonight

Well we're all in the mood for a melody

And you've got us feelin' alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine

He gets me my drinks for free

And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke

But there's someplace that he'd rather be

He says Bill I believe this is killing me

As a smile ran away from his face

Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star

If I could get out of this place

Oh, la-la-la de-de da

La-la de-de da da-da

Now Paul is a real estate novelist

Who never had time for a wife

And he's talkin' with Davy who's still in the navy

And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practicing politics

As the businessmen slowly get stoned

Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness

But it's better than drinkin' alone

Sing us the song you're the piano man

Sing us a song tonight

Well we're all in the mood for a melody

And you've got us feelin' alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday

And the manager gives me a smile

'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see

To forget about life for a while

And the piano it sounds like a carnival

And the microphone smells like a beer

And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar

And say man what are you doin' here?

Oh, la-la-la de-de da

La-la de-de da da-da

Sing us the song you're the piano man

Sing us a song tonight

Well we're all in the mood for a melody

And you've got us feelin' alright

15 Most Personal Songs (a musical apologetic) --#15 Rush, "Subdivisions"

The top fifteen songs that helped to make me who I am and help keep me on track as a geniune person in this human experience. #STformativesongs\

#15 - Subdivisions by Rush

This song reminds me to be involved with and a part of people rather than letting myself be pulled into a separate existence away from them. As a blend of introvert and extrovert with a tendency to pull away when things are stressful, I need this reminder to open up my emotional property lines. 

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Sprawling on the fringes of the city
In geometric order
An insulated border
In-between the bright lights
And the far, unlit unknown

Growing up, it all seems so one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the mass-production zone
Nowhere is the dreamer
Or the misfit so alone

Subdivisions
In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out

Subdivisions
In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out

Any escape might help to smooth
The unattractive truth
But the suburbs have no charms to soothe
The restless dreams of youth

Drawn like moths, we drift into the city
The timeless old attraction
Cruising for the action
Lit up like a firefly
Just to feel the living night

Some will sell their dreams for…