15 Most Personal Songs (a musical apologetic) -- #8 Daniel Amos, "Darn Floor, Big Bite"

 As a child of the 70s and 80s, I didn't have the luxury of computer games and social media to shape my thoughts. Instead, a lot of it came from the music I listened to. 

These are the top fifteen songs that helped to make me who I am and help keep me on track as a genuine person in this human experience. #STformativesongs

#8 - "Darn Floor, Big Bite" by Daniel Amos

Terry Scott Taylor and Daniel Amos' music has been a part of my life since I started making my own musical choices. From satire like "Bibleland" and "Mall All Over the World" and "(It's the Eighties Where's Our) Rocket Packs" to introspective songs like "A Sigh for You" and "William Blake," to more longing songs like "Soon," they were always a band with something to say about the human condition. 

"Darn Floor, Big Bite" reminds me of the axiom that pride comes before a fall, but in terms on my intellect and my understanding. No matter what I think I know, it's never the full story. No matter how much I want to put my understanding of reality in a box and say "this is it," it never is "it." The moment my pride decides to tell someone else, "no, this is how it is, and you're wrong," I remember that my understanding is just as incomplete, and that we're both on the same footing. This song leads me to empathy, not having to be right. It also reminds me of the line from the Carolyn Arends song from a few days ago, "Trying to touch the stars and the cookie jar, and both were out of reach."

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You touch my hair and cheek sometimes

Feel in yourself this flesh and blood

My poor flesh and blood, my poor flesh and blood

I think I met an angel once

But I cannot really know for sure

Do I know you now? Do I know you now?

Illuminate my muddled heart

Sweep the shadows from my mind

So I might imagine what you are like

And understand the great design

Darn floor - big bite

You are earth, water and light

Darn floor - big bite

Can I ever hope to get it right, can't get it right

I believe I've had a vision or two

Could have been a dream

I guess it could have been a dream

Could have been a dream

I saw the wide world crack where you touched down

And bodies wash up on a mythical shore

Will you save me now? Will you save me now?

In not-quite earth, in not-quite heaven

I'll imitate love like lovers do

In not-quite art, in not-quite living

I'll pray that writing it down is part of loving you

Darn floor - big bite

You are twilight, dark and bright

Darn floor - big bite

You are beautiful, terrible terrible sight!

Darn floor - big bite

You are love, fire and light

No I can't get it, no I can't get it right

Disgusting Worms , the 77s, Daniel Amos, Steve Taylor and a Life of Authentic, Honest Creativity

Welcome to truth custom made
Come in and have some lemonade
Reality will readjust while we evade

I discovered the 77s and Daniel Amos in the early 80s and used to go to the store every payday for a new Christian cassette. I started with Petra and Rick Cua, which were great, but when I picked up Ping Pong Across the Abyss and All Fall Down, I knew I'd found something different, something with spiritual "brass ones" so to speak. "Some people preach and they do very well, take all your money and you could go to hell, and that's all" jumped out at me and grabbed me by the throat.

As I grew up in faith, a lot of the more cutesy turns of phrases in Christian music got old and trite, and even worse, the constant targeting of it all to the teenage listener so that it was all milk and no meat, no real soul searching, just repetitive stuff we all learned in the first year of two of youth group just to placate the "but we want to listen to some rock and roll and still be Christians" type of listener (the kind who actually enjoys the premise of “why should the devil have all the good music” – which does imply that church music throughout the ages hasn’t been good – but I digress).

So I moved on from a lot of the music but couldn't let go of 77s, 88, or Pray Naked because they said something to me as an adult believer who had grown beyond summer camp spirituality. The same went for DA's stuff like Doppelganger, Fearful Symmetry and Darn Floor, Big Bite -- and Steve Taylor's Limelight and I Predict 1990. These held songs that spoke about bigger issues than just coming to Christ. They said something about what it meant to live by faith in a culture that thinks we're fools to believe such "myths" and in a subculture that wants to hide away from the world at large instead of be salt and light. These were songs that flew in the face of culture but also had the respect to address it with honesty and authenticity.

In not-quite earth, in not-quite heaven
I'll imitate love like lovers do
In not-quite art, in not-quite living
I'll pray that writing it down is part of loving you

Flash forward a few years to when I'm working at national denominational missions agency. After five years there, I began work on a comic book (I'm a writer and a musician on the side of holding down full-time jobs on the side as needs necessitate, although this was the instance that started me on that path; up to then I simply wrote on the side and worked at the missions agency) that hit a PG-13 market. The story addressed the idea of what one person is willing to sacrifice in order to do good for the masses, even to the point of sacrificing his very identity, which is a Christian act of humility. However, the PG-13 content bothered my employers, and we came to the decision mutually that if I was called to impact culture and be salt and light, I needed to have the freedom to take risks and write the next Matrix which had all kinds of real people talking about spiritual symbolism and the role of Neo, etc. rather than preach to the choir by writing the next Left Behind or Christian “thriller” complete with sanitized cops and robbers to avoid offending the churched sensibilities.

So I left and have done just that for several years now, even to the point of writing a “vanity of vanities” type story for Gene Simmons of KISS in his comic book line that shows the emptiness of certain lifestyles. Not an evangelistic message I know, but most assuredly a biblical one based in truth. Everything I write is filtered through my faith and beliefs, even a zombie short story I just did for DAW books about a man and wife trying to honor their promise before God in marriage when one dies and comes back. How selfless is that love? *grins*

I’m currently working on a Tarantino-esque retelling of the Book of Hosea in which a preacher is commanded by God to marry a hooker and rescue her from the mob where she has been lured back into her old life. More on that as I find a publisher willing to take that kind of risk.

One pile waits with their god in a box
The other pile nervously mocks heaven
Misfits lost in the dryer, take heart
Maybe there's a place up in sock heaven

Even as a fan of horror films, I’ve applied my faith as I watch them and write scripts to pitch for new ones. I even maintain a list of horror flicks (and other films too) with redemptive story lines and/or themes that demonstrate biblical principles. I couldn’t see those themes without the foundation I learned through music and scripture that helped me see things honestly rather than through rose-colored stained glass windows (thank you, Petra). And the ones I write always focus on the way good will always conquer evil because good understands the beauty and power of a sacrifice so that others can live. (“While we were yet sinners… one might say.)

I’ve also applied all this during my time as a bass player and singer for the band 22FIVE. After several years of doing the Christian music thing in the late 80s and early 90s it would have been easy to just settle into a comfortable role of just happy pop songs about how wonderful it is to follow Jesus, and by-the-numbers praise and worship songs, I tried really hard to keep the music we wrote honest and authentic. It was a battle sometimes, with others and within myself, but it was a fun one.
 
Perhaps the most honest thing I’ve been able to say with our music so far is that God is incredibly, unfathomably huge and perfect, and I'm just a disgusting little worm in the grand scheme, but He picks up that worm and says, “You’re My son, and I’m your Father.” Without Christ’s photo inside me filling me up, I’m just an empty frame still (great metaphor, Mike!). And as long as I have a background of that kind of honesty, I can’t help but thank the folks like Mike and crew, Terry and crew, and Steve Taylor, who helped me look beyond church stuff to see what real faith looks like and sounds like in the real world instead of the fluffy warm subculture.